Choices, choices
At the age of 12 or 13, I used to write prolifically, I would use an old exercise book and write passionate stories of love and pain that were passed around the class as I wrote. It was something I did in my every spare moment, and as I was not doing very much schoolwork, there were lots of those! It seemed like all I ever would do. Until one day it stopped.
On the way to get to the kitchen for a very necessary morning drink (I get in to the office at 7am so that I can get home as early as possible) The electronic door would not work, try as I might, pressing that button it would not open. I began to panic and press it over and over again, I was sure I would never get out, Drama Queen that I can be, it took me a few minutes before I thought, but there is another door, I will just have to walk around and get out a different way.
Being trapped like that feels like my life. I had sworn to myself while writing those teenage stories, that I would never get stuck in a 9 – 5, so ok I do a 7 – 3ish but is the same thing. Now stuck with mortgage, and having two gorgeous girls to bring up I feel compelled to stick it out every day, but maybe I am not looking properly and there is another way?
I cannot go back to those stories; they were cheesy in the extreme. Besides there is no group of impatient readers demanding that I kept writing. In fact that only reason I write this is because even though it will be published the chances are that only two people will see it and only one of those will would be able to pick me out of a line up. Ha, I like this!
I have had endless ideas for alternative careers, childminding! Ho ho, there would all be going home swearing! Fostering, girl please! you know you can just about cope with the two you have and the amount nonsensical bureaucracy you have to go through to please the authorities, is way too much for me.
I ran across two people yesterday who where trying to change career from sensible banking jobs, to do something more creative, one wanted to design handbags, she is working on her website…one wants to be come a dancer, she hands out cards offering her Bollywood dancing at children’s parties. I have seen her perform. She should be doing it, but she is still getting up and doing the office thing.
I hope that they make good, it might be the inspiration I need. Then again, I really need to find it in myself; otherwise, I will always just watch other people, and I will grow old and embittered always finding reasons why I just can not get out that door...
At the age of 12 or 13, I used to write prolifically, I would use an old exercise book and write passionate stories of love and pain that were passed around the class as I wrote. It was something I did in my every spare moment, and as I was not doing very much schoolwork, there were lots of those! It seemed like all I ever would do. Until one day it stopped.
On the way to get to the kitchen for a very necessary morning drink (I get in to the office at 7am so that I can get home as early as possible) The electronic door would not work, try as I might, pressing that button it would not open. I began to panic and press it over and over again, I was sure I would never get out, Drama Queen that I can be, it took me a few minutes before I thought, but there is another door, I will just have to walk around and get out a different way.
Being trapped like that feels like my life. I had sworn to myself while writing those teenage stories, that I would never get stuck in a 9 – 5, so ok I do a 7 – 3ish but is the same thing. Now stuck with mortgage, and having two gorgeous girls to bring up I feel compelled to stick it out every day, but maybe I am not looking properly and there is another way?
I cannot go back to those stories; they were cheesy in the extreme. Besides there is no group of impatient readers demanding that I kept writing. In fact that only reason I write this is because even though it will be published the chances are that only two people will see it and only one of those will would be able to pick me out of a line up. Ha, I like this!
I have had endless ideas for alternative careers, childminding! Ho ho, there would all be going home swearing! Fostering, girl please! you know you can just about cope with the two you have and the amount nonsensical bureaucracy you have to go through to please the authorities, is way too much for me.
I ran across two people yesterday who where trying to change career from sensible banking jobs, to do something more creative, one wanted to design handbags, she is working on her website…one wants to be come a dancer, she hands out cards offering her Bollywood dancing at children’s parties. I have seen her perform. She should be doing it, but she is still getting up and doing the office thing.
I hope that they make good, it might be the inspiration I need. Then again, I really need to find it in myself; otherwise, I will always just watch other people, and I will grow old and embittered always finding reasons why I just can not get out that door...
posted by Facety at 9:10 am
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